First Semester Portfolios

Alyssa Behne

Circus Freaks

Alyssa Behne
Artist Statement
My interest in art began in about fourth grade when I got sick of my best friend being better at everything than I was. She was, and is, quite exceptionally skilled in anything art related, and I w sick of it. So when she wanted to draw, I didn’t whine and concentrated instead on doing it BETTER than her. Needless to say, that didn’t work out well, but I did start to sort of enjoy drawing stuff, and I had an interest in oil painting that was largely my mother’s fault. So through middle and high school I signed myself up for art classes and drew on the rare occasion that I remembered such an activity existed. And then, years later, I found myself with something weird like this pastel drawing to write about. I’ve always liked odd things, though, so I guess this isn’t much of a surprise.
I wasn’t entirely sure what I was trying to convey with this piece, seeing as this whole mess stemmed from a math-class doodle, but I expected that at a later point, I’d have some semblance of a theme. Or at least, a vague idea of why I drew what I drew. The piece depicts several, rather cartoony “freaks” wearing very smeary white makeup, and staring at the site of some long ago calamity in the distance. The guy with the enormous nose appears to be reliving the incident, which he must have survived or witnessed, and the female seems to have seen it coming all along. The guy with the blue head tattoo (yes, that’s what those are) looks a bit forlorn, but not especially concerned. I’m not entirely sure, but I think that I was trying to convey a loss of control, and a sort of mourning for that loss, as well as, naturally, a sense of grief and shock over the loss (potential or real) of loved ones. These people have had experience, and probably feel as though they have no chance at existence outside their circus (hence an abrupt sensation that their lives are out of their power), and as though they have to deal with the consequences of their superiors’ actions. Do I sense the beginning of an uprising?
The piece fell short in pretty much every aspect. The line art is shaky, and the shading is almost nonexistent. The faces appear flat and dull, and the blue-themed man’s head-body proportions are so warped that he actually looks like a circus freak. There is so little detail on anything in the entire “piece” (if one dares call such a mess I significantly older. I could claim that I did that on purpose, but really I didn’t. There is no rhythm, and very little balance, but a lot of color. No texture, hardly any value, and not much else to remark on besides the obvious time deprivation. By the way, I spent roughly four hours on this in two days, as I was cramming for finals.
I drew this while sitting at my kitchen table with Nine Inch Nails blaring and my best friend at my side hurriedly working on her art final as well (an acrylic painting). Considering the lack of time I had (finals, homework, make-up work, headaches, etc.), I think it turned out okay.